May I Heal You?

3 Nephi 9:13

Marvelous, indeed, is the pain.
Anguish as I have never known.
You felt it once before, felt in one night how it drags on and on.

I don't know why I've had to feel it too.

How is this supposed to work?
Each night I pray that when I wake I will be done.
And every morning I feel
Like I carry the burden alone.

You have healing in your wings.
Oh, will you pour it out on me,
Upon one who doesn't understand?

9/50 Reasons

I feel things deeply.  Sadness is really sad.  Happiness is very happy.  Loneliness is desolate, and Adventurousness is epic.  I "laugh out loud at just the thought of being alive," and I "show my pain like it really hurts" ("Could I Be You", Matchbox Twenty).  Sometimes, though, feelings can be debilitating.  I sit, steeped in emotion, unable to act.  I wish to rejoice, but I don't have a sufficiently glorious outlet.  I get trapped in downward spirals.  Fortunately, there are also upward spirals to be caught up in.  I am lucky, I think, to feel as I do.  Why would I ever settle for living half-way?

PRIDE

Powerful and defiant, my hydra
Rears its ugly heads.  Sometimes
I feed it and scratch it behind its ears, and sometimes I
Dash about, sword in hand, slashing its necks with abandon.
Every time, I regret paying it any attention at all.

doodle by the author

8/50 Reasons

I mean it.  I don't do what I do just so people can see me and say good things.  I do what I do because I want to do it.  And I wouldn't do it if I didn't.  I try to do good things, yes.  I'm not about to do bad things just to avoid the accusation of insincerity.  I say what I mean, I mean what I feel.  Dig deeper and you'll find...me.  The same me that's on the outside.  Maybe just a little angrier, though, that you didn't believe me in the first place.

7/50 Reasons

I remind myself of a cat.   I admire cats because of their independent spirit, tender affection (when they feel like it), ability to land on their feet, conviction of their own royal blood, long-suffering when sacrificing for someone they truly love, fierceness in temperament, wisdom in both the seen and the unseen, lithe grace, etc.  Maybe I'm over-complimenting myself, here.  I suppose this is what I want to be.

6/50 Reasons

When the tragic heroine and the bold, strong heroine clash inside me, I may give in to the tragedy for a while, but the strong side always wins out.  I don't always see this as a plus, since I would love to be the damsel in deep distress who pines away and DIES for her sorrows, just once (I suppose just once is all it would take, huh?).  But I always end up landing on my feet.