Everything But Marriage

My mother's love
Interesting interests
A fabric stash
Leisure time
A book collection
Loving roommates
Close friends
A real job
Three trees
A Vespa
A good voice
Opportunities to sing

Beautiful little things
like
My appendix
An Eiffel Tower
A sister statue
Caribbean coral
A conch
A hat head
A guardian angel
Magazine pages
Paintings
Grandma's golden bird
Mamacita's radio
Dragon chairs
A safe and cozy place to keep them

Friendly community
A pond right next door
Little dog
My mother's BJs membership
Delicious foods
Simple tastes
Chocolate mousse recipe
Costume pieces
Trusty fanny pack
Not thinking about my bank account this summer
Loaning money to friends
International friends whose absence tugs at my heart
At least my heart is being tugged.
Children who love me, who have loved me
like
Noah
Ryan
Andrew
Connor
Irene
Sylvain
Sophie
Children's books
I can read
Bigger books full of information
Library access at Harvard
The plan of salvation

The Death of Wisdom

That was wise.

I had thought ahead.
The future seemed shapeable.
Choose now, love then.

What an illusion.
What a desperate attempt.
A future of good feelings born of logic.

Mind and heart were always opposed.
What was I thinking.
There can be no truce.

this is not my sorrow

THIS IS NOT MY SORROW

THIS IS THE SORROW OF A MILLION HEARTS

I CANNOT HOLD IT BY MYSELF

I WILL BEND AND BREAK ALONE

I WILL SHRIVEL AND SOUR

THE WORLD WILL IMPLODE

THE HORIZON WILL DISAPPEAR

AND I WILL BE LOST

ALL BECAUSE OF THIS HURT THAT I CLING TO

WITH THE EARNESTNESS OF GRAVITY

BUT

I FEAR THE EMPTINESS OF

WIDE OPEN SPACE WHEN I LET GO.

Untitled by Dideric van den Berg

Once through a misty glade,
trudged a soldier bereft.
Soulless wanderers joined,
like to a weaving's weft.

Which direction forward?
Our wanderers question.
The whole is made,
By crossed direction.

He answers smooth,
No pause to think.
It doesn't matter,
Just don't blink.

Or you shall miss it.

Accept This

We haven't talked in weeks.

An unconscionable distance

Except that

I used to drift this far from you in one night.

My mind was never tethered to your heart.

So it is good that we are done.

We were never close enough

Except that

I remember coming back to you because I wanted to.

No matter how many weeks away each night drifted.

Something In The Air

I can feel there's
Something in the air
Not enough to live on
Not enough to choose with
It weighs on me
Soft and sweet and hopeless
Like the future isn't there
And the past is just a memory of
Something in the air
I wish that you were here
That you were still my
Something in the air.

Heat Lightning

Breathing in like my lungs are new.
Gasping and sighing with laughter.
No pattern and
No rhythm but
The flashes of beauty
On the horizon.