Joe's Friend

As soon as the door closed, he slipped his arm around my waist and i thrilled to the pressure of his hand on my hip.  but it's too soon, i thought.  he's just like joe.  i bet i could guess what happens next.  sure enough, he smiled at me and pulled me around in front of him, bending down to rest his forehead on mine. beautiful as ever but without depth in his eyes.  at least, not for me.

i smiled at him with a skeptical twist to the corner of my mouth.  i wondered if he even saw my raised eyebrow or recognized the knowing look in my steady gaze.  this is so familiar.  they are all the same.  in a heartbeat he was reaching for my lips.  the timing was perfect, executed with practiced smoothness.  my pulse quickened but my heart fell.  "stop," i said.

he hesitated and made a detour to nuzzle my neck as if that had been his intention all along.  i said, "don't do that unless you mean it."

he pulled back to look me in the eyes, maybe a little surprised.  i smiled at him without amusement, my body resting easily in his arms as bodies are wont to do.  "tell me you care about me beyond this moment, this pleasure."

"i'm just going with the flow," he protested, his eyes flitting between mine.  he was off balance, just a tad.  "you draw me in."

"but not for the long haul," i pushed, "though i'm interesting enough to play with.  admit it.  if you saw a future with me, you'd do this differently.  you'd invest.  its okay; i've used and been used before. i don't judge you, but you crossed the wrong woman tonight.  none of me is for you."

i paused for a moment after my surprisingly lucid monologue, giving him a moment to protest if he could.  my smile appeared a beat before he began.  he was too late.  "i don't play that game anymore," i said, "it's not a good game."  i pulled away from his body.  "have a good night."

Threads by Aniqa Moinuddin

You stitched my glaring wounds.
Bleeding dark and bleeding red.
I punctured my skin to let you in,
Pulled you close and wrapped you tight.
Only you could cease that flow
That bleeding gush of red and dark.

Now it's time to pull you out,
Through the skin that grew on you
A bloodied mess spread over you.
You stopped the pain; healed my wound
Yet now I have to let you go.

Scraping flesh and swimming blood
The last piece of you must be found
This numbing pain is all I dread -
I can't tell skin from thread.



thank you, dear roommate, for letting me post your poem on my blog.  

Anthropomancy

I try to see my own heart
but there is so much
skin in the way.
Ribs meet at my breast-
bone to block me out.
Lungs must be thrust aside
and muscle unmoored.
I try to uncover understanding
but I lose strength
as bone and blood
solve my riddles
in patterns on the floor.

Zombie Love

Zombie Love,
I watched you die.
I mourned your loss
With vivid dreams.
Six good feet
Of coldest logic
Hold you down
And muffle screams.

I watch the spot and hold
My shotgun tightly to my chest.
There is no second chance, my love.
Death is for the best.
So if you dare to rear your
Rotting carcass from the ground,
I'll shoot on sight.

Sometimes what's lost should not be found.

Conflict by JDarnell 

Once She Swore She Could Not

Once she swore she could not live without him!
Would not, could not, blended all the same.
Hardest was when could and would divided;
With that fateful breaking came the pain.

Time can't touch the part of her still weeping,
Though she doesn't notice every day.
Her heart is safely back within her keeping,
But unlike love, pain never goes away.

Gold Teardrop by Anne Marie Zylberman

There is beauty in the broken things, but broken things are not the point.

Ashamed To Feel The Ache

Ashamed to feel the ache of love, I rage,

For love is not returned with equal due.

I grasp at dreams and fill this sodden page,

But hide when rational mind strides into view.

I know that this is foolishness to feel.

I know that he is weak and self-absorbed.

I know that I need someone to be real,

Who'll love in every deed as well as word.

But take this heart away, what is there left?

A girl who shoots on sight before she'll fall.

I have to follow this love to its rest

If I'm to follow any love at all.

Dark Things

She stared the dark thing in the face and felt that she had found a friend.

She walked into its thick embrace and never came back out again.

So pay attention as you go.  The dark things are not far behind.

If you pause and say hello, you never know what you may find.

by Kim YunHee

Suspended In Belief

I tell them all that I am not waiting,
But I am always waiting;
Every second suspended in belief.
Every second another fall.

Allegorical Figure by Léon Jean Basile Perrault

Diagram

Tragedy

in the grayness of this day
reading our old emails.

i didn't make it up, that feeling of love.
you were willing to do anything for me.
i was nervous but falling so quickly.
you reassured me.
i believed in you.
we were everything.

and then without warning
the bottom dropped out from underneath
and sent us spinning into the thinnest air.
you died inside before you hit the ground.
i went screaming, streaming tears behind me.
soon there was nothing left.

now there is nothing i can do
but sit and read emails.

in them, i can still hear your heart beat.

Silence, by Sam Weber

The Truth

I'm pretty sure I love you.
I know I did before.
Right up until the point when
My heart landed on the floor.
I know you didn't mean it.
You'd be stronger if you could.
I gave it back too soon.
I guess I misunderstood.

I'm pretty sure I love you,
but I don't remember why.
The boy I knew just disappeared
Without saying goodbye.
When he comes back,  please let me know.
I'd like to try again.
Maybe we can love each other
Like we did back then.

by SaMo

The Weather

Dearest,

A hailstorm came through today.  I watched as the sky grew dark and the wind started to whip the pines.  The chimes on the porch clanged a warning sound that rang lonely and shrill in the expectant hush.  The vibrations of a distant roll of thunder reached my ear drums, setting my skin a-tingling.  The air became green-grey, thickening like soup as I looked out the window.  And then it was upon us.  For a brief second I could hear the hailstones beating a quick march on the ground, coming quickly at the house, and then they were at the window, on the roof, skittering across the deck.  They were enthusiastic little things, dancing, bouncing, pinging all around.  Thunder rumbled right over me, lightning flickered, the wind blew as the trees shook off the attack.  Then it was gone.  As quickly as it had come, the storm moved on leaving silence and a brightening sky in its wake.  Small drifts of hailstones lay in a glistening carpet on the ground, casualties of their own violent ecstasy.

Another, different kind of storm also blew through today, though no one else took notice.  I'd watched the currents of my thoughts darkening and my emotions beginning to spin in a dangerous and irrational manner.  I thought of you so far away and my heart began to wail with an eerie intuition.  He has forgotten you, it cried, He no longer cares to hear your voice or see your words and soon enough you will see.  You will pull from him the truth and then you will be alone!  I was beaten with a million tiny doubts.  They pounded and skittered upon my hopes with devilish glee, and I prayed that you would tell me soon so I could finally surrender to the ice.  But then you said you loved me and the storm stopped.  The silence in my heart was immense.  I was left with the lifeless and swiftly melting debris of my insecurities. 

The weather these days, eh?  Changeable and strange.

Far Away

How is it possible to love someone so much from so far away?
My heart feels like it is stretching and straining to touch him.
I want to tell him all of this feeling; shower him with words while my fingers cannot reach.
Space is not the only distance, and so I bide,
But oh!  This heart of mine!
I feel it surging and tossing around in the confines of my rib-cage.
I pray that this captivity is temporary,
And that my passion won't be tamed by this necessary bridle.

http://brittanyasdfgh.tumblr.com/page/6

Inside Out

My heart was rotted from the inside out.
Love was a fungus, not a sapling.
Wrapped with a million fine threads,
I crumbled to dust.
It held me together and pulled me apart.
I broke under the pressure,
cracked right open.
Like an old egg or a dead tree stump on its way to earth.

Months of scraping out the inside, drying out the shell
And now I'm clean.
I'm put back together.
But I'm empty.
How do I fix that?

The Sorrowful Tree by Bruno Cavellec

earlier iteration:
My heart was rotted from the inside out.
The love that took root was a fungus,
Not a sapling.
Hair-fine white threads held me tightly
While they pulled me apart
And crumbled me to dust.
And then my heart broke under the pressure,
Cracked open like an egg
Or a dead tree stump on its way to earth.
Months of scraping out the inside, drying out the shell
And now I'm clean.  I'm put back together.
But I'm empty.  How do I fix that?

I daydream the past and the future into one.
The present doesn't have anything to offer me,
But the past and the future might hold the same embrace.

Silence

I haven't heard him say it in almost two weeks.
Its as if the words just dry up on his tongue, at his texting fingertip.
Like he doesn't have the energy to push them in my direction.
I envision them falling on her instead
and my hackles rise.

Resiliency

I can't imagine a future without this one.

        Give me enough time and I will be prudent enough to forget him.

I won't settle for an insipid mate.

        Give me enough time and I will be meek enough to enjoy one.

I would do anything for this love to last.

        Give me enough time and I will be polite enough to leave my heart behind.

I demand that all my dreams come true.

        Give me enough time and I will be realistic enough to make up new ones.

I must be loved and adored.

        Give me enough time and I will be mature enough to pretend that I am.

I don't think it will ever stop hurting.

        Give me enough time and I will be practical enough to stop hoping.

Girl with Bike by Aron Wiesenfeld

Am I so dull that no one cares enough to stay?
Is love so blind that, unaware, it turns away?

by Greg Lauren

I Need To Remember That I Am Amazing

I need to remember that I am amazing.
Compliments from others will never stick
unless I believe them.

This is why I am troubled.
This is why I can't believe him.
This is why I fear May.
I tremble that he will notice
how frail
how simple
how plain
how tremulous
how silly
how dull
how boring
I am.

But I'm not those things!
I am something
entirely
brilliant
unique
amazing
glowing
and bright!
When I don't aim to impress, I shine!
I've seen it!  I've felt it!
I am that woman!

But when suddenly I need him to love me,
my colors fade under the harsh light of my own terrified eye,
and I feel limp and vacant.
And feeling limp and vacant
makes you limp and vacant.

But I must not be as limp and vacant as I feel I am,
because he still calls me.

...

WHY CAN'T THAT BE MY PROOF?
WHY CAN'T I BELIEVE HIM?

Because I need to believe it without him, first.
And then every piece of love he gives me will make sense,
because I love me, too.

My home is the sea by Matt Wisniewski

Addict

Chemicals rush through my brain,
causing my skin to tingle,
my blood to swell like the tide,
and my heart to beat loud in my chest,
which resounds with the pulse
and refuses to breathe,
until my ears stop ringing,
my eyelids flutter open,
and the rush subsides.

Tell me again.

Ink Under Water Photograph by Alberto Seveso